Mo(o)nday Drops 🌙

The wound beneath the boundary

Anyone else feeling extremely triggered lately?

Maybe you subscribe to astrology.. maybe not… but I am not sure how you can deny the energy shifts that happen when we have a Full Moon.

It’s that bright light that no longer allows you to hide the parts of self that you have buried or chosen to avoid (what I like to call “a shadow”.

Last week’s Full Moon illuminated the places in my life that still need to be witnessed, released, and approached differently if I want to move forward on my “path of alignment”.

I can tell you that this week has been very illuminating on where I am still carrying old wounds and beliefs that are holding me back from living a life of ease, trust and gratitude.

So this week’s Mo(o)nday drop is:

The wound beneath the boundary

Trust me — I am well aware that this stuff is not fun.

It can be incredibly triggering and dysregulating.

But if we continue to live a life of burying our truths and old wounds… they will continue to dictate our lives.

I have (consciously) worked through different wounds for about 6 years now. Some of them have healed, many of them still exist (when will this ever end).

What I find each time I am confronted with these wounds is that the problems don’t really seem to change, but the depth and intensity of them become deeper and more pronounced.

Which makes sense.

Because as we continue to evolve and level-up (if you will), we are able to face these wounds in a new way.

The way these wounds show up will also manifest in new, unexplored ways. It seems like the Universe wants to make sure that you have crossed all your T’s and dotted every goddam I to make sure that you’ve fully healed these wounds.

Sometimes I feel like the Universe is just laughing thinking, “Thought you healed it? Nope! Here is a new situation that will challenge you in a whole new way.”

Thanks Universe.

It is exhausting… but also such a gift.

One of my woundings is people pleasing.

I have struggled with people pleasing all of my life.
I have felt the pressures to put others before myself, no matter what.

That was how I was rewarded.
That was what created safety in my body.
That was what made me feel like I was enough.

When our nervous systems have adapted to a way of existing — it continues to act in that same way because it provides a form of “safety” and “comfort”.

It is what we default to because it is what our nervous system and patterning is used to — even if it actually is hurting us.

People pleasers often lack boundaries as a result.

Boundaries are a bitch.

I have been working on boundaries for years, and yet it doesn’t seem to stop. When we set boundaries, we often upset the people around us.

And upsetting people is very dysregulating for a people pleaser.

But boundaries are important — they are actually a sign of love.

However, until people can recognize this… it can be challenging for all parties involved.

Recently I have been confronted with a whole new set of boundary work:

• Moving to a new city

• Having more structure in my business

• Living with my partner

• Having more social plans

To name a few.

It is hard for me to say no to people and things because I want to do it all.
Sometimes it is also because I don’t want to upset them.

But when I don’t uphold these boundaries for myself.. I trigger a whole new set of wounds.

Money being a big one (anyone else??)

As you can see… our triggers and wounds can become a slippery slope.

And when the Universe is tired of our BS and wants to give us a little spiritual spanking, these wounds and triggers will shine bright in your face, so that there is no room to ignore them.

Even though it sucks, it is all in better service of ourselves.

So to wrap up this week’s Mo(o)nday drop:

The wound beneath the boundary

Sometimes the boundary itself isn’t the hardest part—it’s the wound that the boundary activates.

Saying no can awaken fears of disappointing people, losing connection, being misunderstood, or not having enough.

When we become triggered — this is a sign that we are activating an old part of self that hasn’t been able to recognize this as safe yet.
The trigger doesn’t mean that the boundary is wrong…
but actually the survival pattern you’re finally ready to change.

I will leave you with a quote my coach said this to me and it really landed:

Doing the work — setting boundaries and having hard conversations can feel exhausting and like you aren’t making progress. But it is just like working out of lifting weights. In the moment it is so hard and you aren’t able to see the change, but you know that you are working towards the end goal. It is happening, but it requires a lot of work, fuel and energy to get there.

So a question for you: Have you found yourself triggered recently? What has been coming up? What do you think the Universe is wanting to reflect back to you? I would love to hear in the comment!

xoxo,

Sam